


Tall, Reasonably Muscled, and Unbearably Cute

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 21:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12219411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: Arthur decides to come out to Leon, his best friend, and it goes well. But then a careless promise to not even think about Leon's brother in a romantic way makes his life rather difficult.





	Tall, Reasonably Muscled, and Unbearably Cute

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rogue37](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue37/gifts).



> Written for Rogue37 in exchange for the contribution to Coinelot. I hope you'll like it.

Arthur leans on the bathroom basin, staring at his hands wrapped around its edge, knuckles white from the cramped grip. He should be fine. He shouldn’t be terrified of talking to his best friend. And yet, he’s paralyzed with fear. It’s worse than all his final exams combined. 

“Fuck,” Arthur breathes out, looking up at his pale reflexion in the mirror. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he repeats, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

He has to go back. Can’t leave Leon waiting forever. Can’t keep his secret forever. Can’t hide such an important part of himself from his closest friend. 

He forces himself to let go of the basin, turns the knob for cold water and splashes it over his face. He closes his eyes, takes several deep breaths, dries his face with a soft towel, and turns towards the door. His hand hovers over the door-handle for several long seconds before he grits his teeth and grabs it, opening the door. 

Leon is still sitting on the couch, playing with his phone. The manufacturer’s logo is bouncing on the tv screen, hiding the DVD menu of their first pick for their weekly movie night. 

“You don’t have to pretty yourself for me, you know. I’m already taken,” Leon jokes without looking up from his phone.

Arthur’s slightly calmed heartbeat skyrockets and he fails to offer any reply, standing awkwardly in the middle of his own room.

“You okay?” Leon asks, this time looking in his direction. 

“I need...” Arthur’s throat seizes up.

Leon’s expression shifts from slightly amused to worried. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

“I want to tell you something,” Arthur says. “Something important.”

Leon nods for him to go on. 

He had prepared what he’d say, several variants even, but he has no idea what to say now when he’s supposed to say it. 

Leon stands up, worry shifting to deep concern. 

“I’m gay,” Arthur blurts, barely audible. “I’m gay,” he repeats, louder.

“Well, that’s unexpected,” Leon says after a few moments of stunned silence. “Are you sure you’re not bi?”

Arthur stares at him, unable to form a response. 

“But thinking about it, there was always something masculine about your girlfriends. Good for you to finally sort that out,” Leon continues, smiling.

“You’re okay with it?” Arthur asks, his voice shaking only a little. 

“Should I be offended?” Leon asks, but there’s no bite in the question. “I don’t care. Love is love. It doesn’t matter who you’ll drag to the altar with you, the best man place is mine.”

The relief washes through Arthur. He feels tears well up in his eyes and quickly blinks them away. 

“Come on. Let’s eat heaps of popcorn and drink beer like any other movie night,” Leon says and drags him to the couch. 

Gradually, Arthur relaxes, feeling slightly ashamed that he ever considered a possibility of Leon not accepting him. 

“My baby brother is gay too, you know,” Leon says when opening credits start. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asks.

“Don’t even think about it!” Leon says.

“No problem there,” Arthur says, remembering the gangly, hyperactive boy from the days spent at Leon’s house in his high school years.

It’s not going to be a problem at all.

 

*

 

“Damn it, Leon, we’re gonna be late!” Arthur yells in the direction of Leon’s bedroom, bouncing on his feet impatiently. “They won’t let us in if we’re late.”

He can hear Leon saying something but it’s too muffled for him to make out the words.

“You’ll lose your best friend status if we’re late,” Arthur shouts. 

“The play starts in two hours. It’ll take us half an hour to get there,” Leon says, coming out of his bedroom.

“It’s rush hour. Who knows what the traffic will be like,” Arthur says, petulant. 

“It’s about meeting your idol, isn’t it?” Leon says, smirking, slowly buttoning his shirt. “Mr. tall, reasonably muscled, and unbearably cute,” he continues his teasing.

“Shut up,” Arthur mutters, his cheeks growing hot.

“Your words not mine,” Leon says, grinning. 

“It was your fault I got pissed that much at Gwen and Lance’s wedding,” Arthur says, folding his arms across his chest.

“Calm down, Arthur. We’ll make it on time,” Leon assures him, working on tying his tie. 

“You better hope so,” Arthur grumbles. 

Door to the bathroom opens behind him and he turns around, ready to say hi to Gwaine who’s been living with Leon for the past several months. Only it’s not Gwaine. 

Clad only in a towel wrapped around his hips, a stranger steps through the door, probably one of Gwaine’s current contests. Leon’s words ‘tall, reasonably muscled, and unbearably cute’ flash through Arthur’s mind as he can’t help but check the guy out, but then his eyes settle on the guys face and he realizes it’s no stranger standing in front of him. Turns out Leon’s skinny teenage brother isn’t so skinny and teenage anymore.

“Hi,” Merlin says, smiling, and it only proves his identity.

“Hi,” Arthur says, forcing himself to not look back down at the smattering of hair on Merlin’s chest, at the treasure trail peeking above the edge of the towel. “Didn’t know you would be visiting.”

“I’m staying actually,” Merlin says, running his hand through his wet hair. “Got a job in the city.”

“Oh, don’t be so coy,” Leon directs at his brother. “He’s joining our IT department. Didn’t even need me to pull any strings to get there,” he adds, proud smile on his face. 

“That’s great,” Arthur says, not knowing what else to say, his thought processes stuck in the loop of ‘fuck, so hot, how did that happen?’. 

“I’m ready to go,” Leon says, pulling Arthur from his thoughts.

“It was nice seeing you again,” Arthur says, offering Merlin a hand to shake. 

Merlin steps a bit closer, his grip on Arthur’s hand firm and warm. 

“Likewise,” Merlin says, his smile wide and genuine.

His towel chooses that moment to start slipping off his hips.

“Oops,” Merlin says, grinning, his free hand shooting to grab the towel, succeeding to preserve his modesty.

Still Arthur catches a glimpse of the treasure trail widening and quickly averts his gaze.

“Enjoy the play,” Merlin says, letting go of Arthur’s hand.

“Thanks,” Arthur says. 

“I’d better…” Merlin says, nodding towards what must be his room.

“Yeah, sure,” Arthur says, feeling like the most awkward person on the planet. 

“See you,” Merlin says, already moving away. 

“Bye,” Arthur says, turning towards Leon who watches him oddly. “Let’s go,” he says, walking towards the door.

And then he remembers his promise to Leon, his careless ‘no problem there.’ How wrong he was.

 

*

 

His initial panic about being turned on by Leon’s not-that-little-anymore brother abates after a few days. Just because he finds the guy aesthetically pleasing doesn’t mean he’s interested in dating him, so there’s no reason to worry about breaking his promise. 

It’s not like he’ll see Merlin regularly. He rarely goes to Leon’s as they usually hang out in Arthur’s flat, and his job doesn’t bring him in the direction of the IT department very often.

Completely reassured by this reasoning he doesn’t even hesitate when Leon invites him to join him and Merlin for a pub quiz, creating a team of three. 

 

*

 

“How do you even know all this stuff?” Arthur asks after Merlin jots down an answer for yet another pop culture question without pausing to think. 

“I could ask you the same about all that history stuff?” Merlin says, raising an eyebrow.

“I like history,” Arthur says, shrugging. 

“And I like pop culture,” Merlin says with a grin and turns back towards the moderator who is about to read the next question.

 

*

 

“One point. One bloody point!” Arthur says, putting an emphasis on each word. “We can’t leave it like this. We have to come back next time. It’s a matter of honour.”

“How many beers have you had exactly?” Merlin asks, amused.

“He’s not drunk,” Leon says. “He’s a sore loser.”

Arthur kicks him in the shin for that. Merlin laughs, his whole body in motion, his throat exposed, the sound surprisingly deep. Arthur can’t tear his eyes away. 

 

*

 

The pub quiz nights become a regular thing. Every second Tuesday they meet and try to win. Try being the pivotal word as they fail to make it to the top three every single time. 

Arthur learns more and more about Merlin, hearing stories from his years at uni and nodding along whenever he starts telling Arthur about a new tv show or movie or whatever is the hot topic of the Internet at the time. 

Sometimes their hobbies intersect and Arthur is the one to spew information about a historical event or details about aristocracy tied to the tv shows Merlin watches. When that happens Leon leaves them to it, escaping home for a proper night’s sleep, and they stay until the pub closes. 

Soon Merlin starts dragging Arthur with him to every single new historical movie, and Arthur takes him to the various events in museums and libraries in return. 

Arthur tells himself that the warmth he feels every time he sees Merlin is just happiness at seeing his friend, resolutely ignoring the little voice reminding him that it doesn’t feel like that for any of his other friends. 

 

*

“So?” Merlin asks as the credits for the latest Arthurian legends adaptation roll on the projection screen. 

“I’m pretty sure those costumes weren’t historically accurate, but I’m willing to let it slide because Lancelot’s butt in those tight trousers was a sight to behold,” Arthur says, sipping the last remnants of his drink through the straw. “All the shirtlessness was probably an attempt to distract the viewers from seeing all the plotholes. It almost worked,” he adds, smiling. 

“Do I hear hints of bi-curiosity?” Merlin asks, grinning.

Arthur frowns, not understanding what Merlin means and then it dawns on him. He never told Merlin he’s gay and Leon, yet again proving himself to be the perfect best friend, obviously didn’t share Arthur’s secret either.

“Well, not really,” Arthur says. “I’m gay but it took me a long time to realize it.”

“Oh my god, sorry,” Merlin blurts out. “I was just joking. Did I drag you out of the closet?”

Merlin’s cheeks turn red from embarrassment which Arthur definitely doesn’t find adorable. 

“No, I’m out. Leon was the first to know actually,” Arthur says. “ I forgot I didn’t tell you.”

“That’s why he suddenly started laughing anytime I said someone was as straight as you. I thought he finally learnt to appreciate my sense of humour,” Merlin says.

“You made me an epitome of straightness?” Arthur asks, his eyebrows rising.

“You fit the usual criteria. You drink beer, play rugby, and consider hitting people a sign of affection. You had so many girlfriends,” Merlin says, his blush deepening. “Not to mention that absolutely horrible fragrance every single straight guy was wearing because of that one tv ad featuring an alpha male and a bunch of scantily clad women,” he says, shuddering in disgust at the memory.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Arthur says, laughing.

“Yes, it was,” Merlin says. “Still causes me nightmares.”

Arthur laughs even more, pushing aside the thought that Merlin noticed and remembered things about him. Denial seems to be his constant companion these days. 

 

*

 

It seemed like a good idea to buy ice-cream in the weather that seemed more tropic than british. Except now Arthur gets to watch the indecent display that is Merlin eating an icecream, and his brain cells are shutting down one by one.

Merlin blabbers on about some new tv show in between licks, but Arthur has barely any idea about what he’s saying, willing himself to not pop a boner in public. But then Merlin engulfs the ice-cream in his mouth, slowly dragging his lips up the creamy goodness, and Arthur’s attempt to prevent a boner shifts to making sure it stays unnoticed. 

“What do you think?” Merlin asks.

Not having a slightest clue of what to say, Arthur shrugs, concentrating on his own ice-cream which has started to drip down the cone.

“You’re usually very opinionated when it comes to Queen Victoria,” Merlin says, tilting his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Just remembered something I need to do tomorrow,” Arthur deflects, licking the sticky cream from his fingers. 

Merlin quickly turns away the moment Arthur looks at him and resumes his tv show inspired chatter. 

 

*

 

They settle on their backs under a tree in a park, the shadow providing at least a small respite from the uncommon heat. There’s a pause in the conversation as they simply lie on the grass, enjoying the peace and quiet, and Arthur lets his eyes slide closed. He hears Merlin shifting beside him, but doesn’t move himself.

“Arthur?” Merlin says, and he sounds much closer than before.

“Hmmm?” Arthur hums in response, blinking his eyes open to find Merlin leaning above him and moving closer.

The kiss comes as a complete shock. It’s soft, quick, and non-demanding. Merlin pulls away for a moment before pressing his lips to Arthur’s once more. Without thinking Arthur responds to the kiss, parting his lips and letting Merlin set the pace. He loses himself in the act, tangling his fingers in Merlin’s shirt and pulling him just a bit closer. 

And then his brain catches up with the situation. Arthur tenses, breaking the kiss. Instead of pulling Merlin closer, he starts pushing him away.

“We can’t,” he says even when he wishes to continue.

“I thought… Did I read it all wrong?” Merlin says, and he looks so confused and lost that it’s insanely hard to not pull him close.

Arthur shakes his head.

“I made a promise,” he says, and it hurts so bad now that he knows Merlin likes him.

“What are you talking about?” Merlin asks.

Arthur has to swallow a few times before he can talk further.

“I promised Leon I wouldn’t even think of you this way,” Arthur says, not meeting Merlin’s eyes.

“What?” Merlin gasps. “He… He… I’m gonna kill him,” Merlin growls, clambering to his feet, brushing the dirt off his clothes, and setting off in the direction of the nearest tube station.

“Merlin!” Arthur calls after him, but Merlin ignores him. “Wait!” he calls again when he catches up to him.

“Was it fun leading me on?” Merlin asks. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I wasn’t…”

“Shut up. I’m going home. Alone,” Merlin says, and Arthur knows that there’s nothing he can do now.

“Sorry,” he says and stops walking, watching Merlin until he disappears from his view.

 

*

 

He spends the rest of the day aimlessly wandering through the city, his heart heavy with guilt. He broke Leon’s trust and hurt Merlin in the process, both acts inexcusable. He tries to ignore the ache of squashed possibilities. Merlin could be his. His to care for, to cherish, to love. And even if that could never be, or maybe because of that, it makes him feel numb and hopeless. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to reveal Leon’s name on the screen. He’s hesitant to answer the call, but when the seconds pass and the phone keeps ringing, he takes a deep breath and presses the green button. 

“Hello,” he says.

“What the hell, Arthur?” Leon starts, omitting a greeting. “What is wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur says because it’s all his fault. He should have stayed away since the beginning. 

“You’re sorry,” Leon repeats with a breathless laugh. “My brother accuses me of being a bloody cock blocker and yells at me to stay out of his business, and you’re sorry. Could you, please, explain to me what you’re sorry for? Because I have no idea what is happening.”

“I promised you I wouldn’t think about your brother in a romantic way.”

“What? When?” Leon asks.

“When I came out to you,” Arthur says. “You told me Merlin was gay. And then you told me not to even think about it.”

There’s a brief silence over the line and Arthur wonders whether their call has been disconnected, but then Leon speaks again.

“You know I was joking, right?” he says, his tone softer now. “You’re my closest friend. I trust you more than anyone. I couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend for Merlin.”

“I thought…” Arthur starts, his throat constricting, the implications of Leon’s words overwhelming. “Oh my god, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.”

“Unfuck it up then,” Leon says with a sigh. “The sooner the better. I have to live with him.”

“I don’t know how,” Arthur admits, feeling hopeless. 

“And I should?” Leon says, exasperated.

“You’re his brother. You must know something,” Arthur pleads and Leon sighs.

“He likes brownies with whipped cream,” Leon says after a moment of contemplation. “I’m heading out and won’t be back until midnight. You better fix this before then.”

 

*

 

Arthur quietly sneaks into Leon’s flat, his heart beating fast. The flat seems empty, no sound to be heard. Maybe Merlin left too before Arthur got there. He resists the urge to turn around and leave and moves to the door to Merlin’s room. He takes a few deep breath to calm himself and knocks on the door. No response. He tries again after a few seconds, just to be sure.

“Go away,” Merlin’s muffled voice can be heard.

Instead of talking Arthur knocks the third time. The door opens after a few moments.

“What,” Merlin grunts, rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

His hair is in disarray, his cheeks pink from slumber. His disgruntled expression is beyond cute. 

“Hi,” Arthur says, and Merlin finally looks at him.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asks, taking a step back, defensive. 

“I came to apologize,” Arthur says. “I brought these,” he adds, presenting the box of brownies and a can of whipped cream.

“That traitor,” Merlin mutters, eyeing Arthur’s offerings. “Okay, speak,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. 

“It was, err… a bit of a misunderstanding,” Arthur says. “I was…” He has to take a deep breath, tries to will his hands to stop shaking so much. “I was really scared Leon would hate me when I came out to him. It was completely irrational, but that’s fear I guess. So I was a mess when the secret was out and it turned out not to be that much of a deal. I guess I was still too wired up when he joked about me not even thinking about dating you. Because it turns out he really was joking.”

Merlin shifts his weight from one foot to another but otherwise doesn’t react.

“I should have known he would never mean it seriously. And even if he did mean it seriously, I shouldn’t have let that stop me. It’s not his choice who you decide to date. I’m sorry,” Arthur says, waiting for some reaction from Merlin but none comes. 

“I tried so hard to push you out of my head but it didn’t work. Finding out it wasn’t necessary... I’m the world’s best self-cockblocker,” Arthur says with a self-deprecating laugh. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Merlin says, stepping through the door. “But I accept your apology brownies.”

He takes both the box and the can from Arthur’s hands and heads off in the direction of the kitchen. Arthur has no idea what he’s supposed to do now.

“I won’t eat them alone. I’d get heartburn,” Merlin calls out from the kitchen.

Relief spreads through Arthur. He might not be completely forgiven, but he has a chance to make things right. 

 

*

 

“Seriously? That again?” Merlin says. 

“Hmm?” Arthur hums, lifting his gaze from the mostly empty plate.

“That!” Merlin says, motioning in Arthur’s direction. “You’re licking your fingers again,” Merlin adds when Arthur still doesn’t understand. 

Arthur, sucking off the last remnants of the whipped cream, pulls his finger out of his mouth with a wet pop. 

“Yes. And?” Arthur asks, still not comprehending. 

“Oh my god, I fell for an idiot,” Merlin groans, takes Arthur’s plate, deposits it on the table, and seats himself across Arthur’s lap, pressing him back against the cushion of the sofa and diving in for a sweet, brownie flavoured kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)


End file.
